The moment we delivered our first baby I was pretty sure I was never going to have another baby. The experience was not something that I was fond of, something that I surely did not want to go through again. Yet, throughout the past year or so we have found ourselves in so much love with our little man that we wanted both a sibling for him and we felt ready for another.
Before I was pregnant with this second child I started seeing so many baby announcements that in some way or another used COVID as the reason the baby to be conceived and if that is your humor then that’s great, just not my cup of tea. So, I knew that people would ask if it was a planned pregnancy or if we really wanted another one and so on and so forth. It came as questions from those I was not expecting, as they assumed we were not having another. Entering into this pregnancy we already knew that things would be different because some people would not be supportive, some would think it was a mistake or unplanned and some would be over the moon and happy for us.
Heading into my first doctors appointment I was very nervous, I had to go in by myself and meet with the doctor, of course to confirm pregnancy. Then I had my first ultrasound scheduled soon after that and my husband was not allowed to come in for that. I went the first 19 weeks of my pregnancy to all appointments alone. On one hand it was something special to have all my attention focused on this new baby, but at the same time it was as if I was venturing through this chapter alone as my husband could not be there for anything.
Today was the first time that he was allowed to be in the office as it was the anatomy scan ultrasound. It was surreal having him there with me. I kept looking over the screen at his face and seeing how happy he was made it all the more special. We were able to see this babe and finally experience part of this pregnancy together.
Now, I have no idea how things will play out in the months to come, but here are the things that I have learned thus far in a pregnancy during a pandemic. I have learned that already I must be vigilant in taking care of this baby and myself as there are so many unknowns. I never know if someone we know will get COVID, or if someone at my husbands work could possibly pass it on to him. There is no known for how it will be at the birth or how much or little a mask will need to be worn during delivery. I do not know if anyone will be allowed to come over to our house to meet the baby without quarantining beforehand. Part of me wishes that it was like my first pregnancy where we flew out to Utah and traveled around the state multiple times, but I know that everything happens for a reason and we are so grateful that we are having a healthy baby who is growing and developing.
I have learned that I must take control of the situation instead of letting in control me. I was very sad at first having to go to all appointments alone, but I will forever cherish the moments I was able to hear the heartbeat of this baby by myself. The drives to and from the office where I could feel the kicks, and the excitement of that first ultrasound.
If you know anyone who is pregnant during this all who has been pregnant before, give them grace. Understand that everything that was familiar about the first one is all new this time around. Wearing a mask is not always comfortable, but knowing we are keeping our babies safe as best we can is all we are trying to do. If a pregnant mama does not invite you over or head out with you for dinner, it might not be because she is upset with you or that she does not want to be around others it might be that she feels she is doing the best she can with what she knows for this little life that is growing inside her.
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