Dealing with the “GOOD FOR YOU” club

Parenting undoubtedly comes with hundreds of moments when you question your decision, you question the future, what your child will grow up like, what they will accomplish or where they will end up in this life.

As the mom of a toddler I am constantly trying to make the best choices for my child that will benefit him both now and in the future. Yet, sometimes it is hard to not give-in to those people who always know just how to push my buttons and of course they always add in the well-known “good for you” so somehow whatever they are saying should be taken as a compliment instead of a upsetting remark.

The reasons someone has to belittle you as a Mama are so vast it is incredible to think that we are listening to them instead of banding together to support one another, because being a parent is HARD. It is hard in every season of life, there are joys and triumphs and pitfalls and sorrow.

How often on the internet have you or someone you know posted something about your child, a picture, a sentence, a story and you have seen those comments on them saying something negative.

I cannot imagine using my words; the only thing that is visible to others through this keyboard, to hurt another Mama. I cannot imagine using my words to in person belittle a Mama or take away from the joy she is experiencing, or even worse to add to the pain or uncertainty she is feeling.

In the same breath someone once told me; he will start talking more eventually but good for you that he is talking now. How in the world was that supposed to come off in any way other than a piercing blow?

I will have you know my son is a fantastic little speaker and was already saying many words for his age, yet they were comparing him to another child who was “only a few months older”. Comparing and the blame game are hard to not fall into as a Mama in this current culture.

It is easy to see what some other Mamas are achieving and to feel like you should be doing so much more, it is hard to hear what a child has accomplished and wish your child had done the same.

Maybe instead of backhanded “compliments” or “good for you” when we are jealous we use those words and really put the meaning back into them. Maybe we as parents find the voice to help and put into words how desperately support is needed in the current times.

If you are immune to all negative comments and never feel under attack for your parenting choices or styles then lets hear the tips! I know that I have fallen into feeling less than and to overthink so many conversations pertaining to my child once they are over, but I have a hope that as time goes on and I become more confident in my choices, and have a bigger voice, that I use that to help out others and to raise up as many Mamas as I can and to be part of the positive “good for you” group!