Dealing with Struggles

As a kid I was perceptive of peoples problems and could spot someone who needed help right away. I detested when people argued and always hoped for the best in all scenarios.

Yet, as the case with most children the innocence of childhood did not show me the troubles of the world, or give me a perfect idea of how to handle them.

I remember 9/11 being in class and told that all students needed to pack because we were being sent home.

To me I was being sent downstairs to my moms classroom but I had a feeling of dread and panic because why in the middle of the day was I going home? Some kids cheered, excited at the prospect of leaving school early but I was worried.

When we got home our parents sent us to play on the porch with our Barbie dolls and they sat in the living room watching the news.

It wasn’t until some time later that we were able to watch part of it and they tried explaining to us what had happened. I was in fourth grade and my sister in second so to us we didn’t really understand. In a place we had never seen or been to, something awful happened. Yet, I still felt a heavy grief with the looks on grown ups faces.

This last year has thrown me deep into how I was told about politics, disasters and issues of our country.

With a child of my own I am now looking at everything in a whole different way.

It is no longer that I have the innocence of a child and I can think about things happening to “people” or in “places things are tough”.

I want nothing more than for my son to grow up and understand that there will be troubles in the world and that even if they might not “feel” like they are connected to him, even if he isn’t directly hurt or scared or upset that they matter.

Every life matters. If it is his neighbor, friend, cousin, or stranger that compassion is needed.

He will have a voice and the knowledge and support to understand that it is so important to pay attention instead of turning a blind eye. That caring for others who may not look like him, speak like him or even think like him MATTERS.

I won’t know what happens long after I am gone and I refuse to be scared for what he will endure or live through. I will just do my best to teach this young mind that he can make a difference in either a positive or negative way and the choice is ultimately his.