Days With Mama

Days With Mama / May 5, 2020

What I’ve Learned About Being a Mama During Quaratine

Have you learned something new about yourself or your needs during this time of quarantine? I sure have! I have so much love and appreciation for all those who have had to work throughout these changing times as well as those fighting to keep everyone the safest they can.

I have always been someone who probably thinks about every decision way more than I should. I second guess myself or think about decisions long after I’ve made them. For example, when buying new outfit for my husband or little one I put items in the cart and go back and forth for days before finally choosing the one that is perfect. (Then I think of all the reasons it might not be…and start over).

A huge part of my life has been making lists and accomplishing items of it throughout the days or weeks. As a teacher I always had a running list that I started the day school let out and it continued through the next spring. It was items I knew I could accomplish and more difficult tasks like creating curriculum or revamping my tiered teaching that I wanted to get done. Seeing my to-dos in list form has always made them easier in my mind. It’s just words on a paper that I can cross off instead of the entire task overwhelming me.

During this quarantine I have found myself so many times thinking about how I am spending my days. I am in no way comparing my journey through this with anyone who is fighting the fight out there; I just have a lot of reasons to come out of this changed.

The amount of lists I have created during this quarantine is over 20. I have made lists of daily to-dos, weekly and even monthly items.

Some of my lists have been scribbled in notebooks or more carefully written on a board outside my kitchen…yet I keep having this nagging feeling that this isn’t what I want to come out of quarantine thinking about. I don’t want to remember all the LISTS.

So here is my final list of what I’ve learned about being a mama during this all:

I’ve learned that I need to give myself grace. I do not have to get all the laundry or dishes done in one day.
I can let someone else make dinner and not feel like I have let anyone down.
I’m a really great cook/baker and I miss having an audience to give my food to so they can try and critique it.
I generally hate hugs, but I miss them. I miss just having a moment where someone else asks how I am doing.
I am a better and more fun mama when I get the chance to relax.
I need more me-time or time when I’m not solely focused on other people’s happiness in order to recharge.
I have so much to be thankful for, healthy family and friends, phones and video calls.
I have never loved the sunshine more than now, my favorite moments have quickly become long walks with my hubby and little man.
I’m thankful for every second I am able to spend with my healthy son. I cannot imagine those parents going through the worst of things and not being able to hold their children. I have the privilege to be a mama to the sweetest little one and I’m not taking anything for granted. Midnight wake-ups, I got it! Extra snuggles before nap time-count me in!
I have also realized that maybe doing everything yourself is maybe not the key to happiness. It might make everyone else’s life go more smoothly, yet it takes a toll.

Whenever we get to hug our family and feel safe heading into the next chapter of our lives I have this one wish for myself.

TO NEVER MISS A MOMENT

Instead of taking a picture on my phone I want to be in the moment. Instead of spending all day rushing around cooking, cleaning, and being busy I want to slow down and smile at my baby. He knows nothing of what is happening and I pray he stays healthy and happy. I want to feel like I have lived my life instead of rushing through it, worried, stressed and frustrated.

Remember Mamas-this is changing everyone’s lives, and it is important to remember that you’re going through something different than anyone else, but this is your story.

Days With Mama / March 24, 2020

Ten Activities for Toddlers

Life is a little crazy right now and I feel for the parents who suddenly have to figure out what to do with their kiddos all day, what activities to plan or who might be in need of an idea for fun play!

Below, I have listed ten activities for toddlers that my preschool kiddos loved! Of course as with any activity there might some kiddos who do not love every activity. You know your kiddos and know which activities they might love more than others!

Making Tacos (sandwiches, or burgers)

This idea is something that my kiddos loved doing! The best way to do this is to create things ahead of time for your child. I cut little pieces of construction paper into different shapes, like little green blobs for lettuce, yellow mini rectangles for cheese, little red circles for tomatoes, etc. One thing that the kids loved about this is that they were able to create their own tacos! They were able to add as little or as much as they liked on their real “tacos”.

Painting-WITHOUT PAINT

This idea was a huge hit when the weather was nice outside! All you in is a paintbrush and a bucket of water. If you do not have paint brushes you can have kiddos use washcloths or anything that can collect water and be brushed around. This is so fun for kids because they love painting and it disappears so quickly that they can use the same spot over and over again.

Creating Faces

This idea is great for little ones or even a bit older. I gave kiddos a face shape cutout, I had also piles of different types of “hair”. I cut out strips of construction paper in varying shades and shapes. The kiddos could choose whichever face and hair they wanted then they drew on the rest of their faces.

Sorting Fluff Balls by Size and Color

This idea works for children of all ages, especially those who are just learning their colors. I used little plastic cups with a colorful shape on the bottom and students had to pick up fluff balls and place them into the containers based on color. For older students or those who needed a little more of a challenge, I had them use the giant tweezers to pick up the balls and put them into the containers. This kept them busy for a long time and then sometimes at the end of this activity they were able to have a “snowball” fight with each other and throw their fluff balls from one side of the room to the other. The kiddos never threw them far enough to bother each other but LOVED pretending it was snow!

Ripping Paper

This activity is a great time consumer for little hands! This activity was done with kiddos age 2-4 1/2. At each place at the table I placed one giant piece of construction paper, and instructed them to tear into as many pieces that they could. They loved seeing how big their pile of pieces got the longer they worked! If you need an extension to this for kids who can easily tear you can always write their name on a piece of paper and have them glue their little pieces onto their name.

Sorting Candy/snacks/goldfish

This activity can be done with any candy, snack or even toy that you have plenty of with similarities and differences. I had the students each get one packet of gummy fruit. They first dumped their fruit out and were able to explore it. They could look at colors, textures and shapes and had the chance to tell me what they noticed about them. Most of them noticed colors and shapes right away. I then asked them to sort them different ways, by color, by shape, by texture (how they felt), in groups of 2, the older kiddos I had do groups of 3 or count them to see how many they had altogether.

Tracing Names

I used this activity to help the kiddos write and learn their names. Even the youngest child in my class as able to write their name within a month or so of practicing. I had them trace their name when I wrote it out using markers, or crayons over and over and the repetition gave them the chance to build skills with writing their names.

Playing in the Dirt

This is a fun activity and once it is a little warmer outside most kiddos enjoyed this! If your kiddo is not a fan of getting their hands muddy a great way for them to still take part in this is for you to give them a shovel or a small toy to dig or play with instead of using their hands.

Painting Pumpkins/Vegetables

In the fall we painted pumpkins! Everyone received a tiny little pumpkin and was allowed to paint it however they wanted with as much or as little paint as they chose. This can be done with any fruit or veggie that you do not want to eat! If you paint mini pumpkins they may last for longer!

Making Butter

My mom was a Kindergarten teacher for over 30 years and she taught her class how to make butter every year around Thanksgiving. This is a fun way for you and your kiddos to play and work to make something that is tasty! In order to do this you need an old jar with a lid that seals completely, take cream and fill the jar about 1/3 of the way and put in a pinch or two of salt. Then get to shaking! You will have to continuously shake the jar for sometime to get the butter to come together and form, but it is super tasty in the end! It helps to have the kiddos shake for awhile, then you, then back and forth. Once there is no liquid in the butter you can take it out and either serve fresh or put in fridge before serving.

If you have any activities that you love to do with your toddler let me know! I would love to try them out!

Days With Mama / February 29, 2020

What to Wear: A Top Ten List for New Mamas

Let’s face it. Our bodies go through amazing changes during pregnancy and immediately after. We start off at a weight, before finding ourselves pregnant and then over time we have a variety of clothing needs.

Below you will find a list of everything I have come to love since becoming a new mama. I have traded in my work attire, for clothing that is both flexible and functional.

Check out the links below for some of my favorites!

Top Ten:

If you are going to be breastfeeding, invest in some quality nursing bras. I bought six after delivering my baby, and have been so thankful! It gives me enough, that even when I can’t get laundry done everyday I still have something to wear. My favorites are from Amazon, they are both affordable and comfortable.
Leggings or comfy pants are a must! Those first few weeks after delivery, I was incredibly sore and did not want to put on any jeans right away. I still love them now, as they are easy to wear while playing on the floor with my little man, or running around doing errands.
Nursing sweatshirts; light or heavy depending on the season. These are great to wear when you have company over, you need a quick outer layer or you are looking for something that is comfortable and easy to nurse the baby with.
Jeans-I bought a size up from what I was pre-pregnancy right before I delivered. They were a little stretchy and I had a goal of being able to fit into them at some point, it turned out being sooner than I thought, but I was thankful I had a pair that made me feel good and did not rush me into losing a ton of weight.
Sweaters with open fronts are another favorite of mine. I love the chunky sweaters from Target. I have used them for so many reasons, from pregnancy to birth, to the last few months. I love them as they are easy to throw on and function for many other helpful purposes as well. I have used them as a blanket, a nursing cover, a towel and even a pillow on a long car ride.
Easy slip-on shoes! I love boots with no zippers, flats and sandals. Anything that makes it easier getting out the door with the baby easier.
Nursing tank tops. I love sleeping in a nursing tank, as it makes nighttime feedings so much easier to manage.
High rise leggings are another favorite of mine. I have been doing my best to get in a cardio workout or run nearly everyday since the doctor cleared me a few months ago. High rise leggings are amazing and make squats, jumps and runs so much easier as I do not feel like I have to continually pull my pants up!
Supportive running shoes have become a go-to of mine. My pregnancy was spent standing, walking, hiking and running. Due to that I have felt a difference in my knees. I used to only choose shoes based on brand and the design I liked (I knew a few brands that were supportive so I just picked a pair I liked the look of). Now, I choose first based on support and comfort, letting design take a backseat. It has been so worth it!
Supportive sports bras are my last must-have for new mamas. If you are nursing it is so nice being able to wear something that keeps you supported and comfortable while working out.

Days With Mama / February 26, 2020

How Sleep Training Has Changed Our Marriage

My husband and I decided to start sleep training our baby when he was about three months old. We made this decision because he was going to bed around 10:30. He was sleeping in until 9:30 a.m. so as a new mama, that was a plus for me. The downside was that we had to stay up until 10:30 and were never getting time together as a couple.

I did a lot of research on different ways to sleep train, and talked to quite a few parents to see what they did in order to figure out the best route to allow our baby to sleep the best he could.

The first few nights that we decided to put him to bed earlier, we did not make any progress. He just cried, fussed and generally needed to be held until 10:30 like normal.

Throughout the first week we were able to make some progress by slowly getting him ready for bed around 10, hoping he would fall asleep soon after. I had been still nursing before sleep at this point, which I began to cut out. I decided that if he was able to differentiate sleep from eating, then sleeping we would be able to make progress faster.

Throughout the second week, I was feeding him on his normal schedule, while trying to not end the day on the feeding minutes before bedtime. We were able to start getting him ready for bed still around 10, and he was falling asleep close to that same time.

By the time the third week rolled around we implemented a new bedtime routine that made everything about bedtime even easier for us. We fed our little one before bed, then put on his jammies and read him a story. It took that entire week of following through with that routine as well as consistently doing the same steps whether it was mine or my husbands turn to put him to bed. We were finally able to get him to bed by 9:20-9:40.

During the fourth week, we continued to follow the same routines, attempt to put him to bed earlier and we also became consistent on what we would do if he was fussy or woke up in bed. At first, it was hard to not run to his crib any time he moved, or made a sound. Then, slowly we learned that we needed to allow him time to figure things out on his own. We gave him a minute or two to start when he was fussy before rushing to him, allowing him time to self-soothe. This gave us the chance to notice that he was able to get himself back to sleep if he woke up. It took time and patience to work up to letting him work out falling back to sleep on his own, but again, it has been worth it!

The next few weeks sort of blended together and here we are about eight weeks into the sleep training and our baby goes to bed consistently between 8 and 8:30. We still follow the same routine, no matter what is happening in our day, who is visiting or where we are. The routine has helped our baby rely on our cues to know when it is time for bed.

We have been given a treat of time together throughout all of this. I cannot tell you how many nights we talked about how we wished he went to bed just a little bit earlier. When we first started to sleep train our baby, those first few nights when he went to bed before 10 we were so excited! It gave us a half an hour of time together before we headed up to bed.

In the beginning we used that time to catch up on cleaning or dishes, but slowly we have learned to savor those moments. We have his monitor nearby, and we are constantly checking on him, yet we can have conversations with each other and enjoy each others company. We have had game night dates where we play board games on the couch, or movie nights (those generally take a couple of nights to finish!), or nights where we watch a favorite sporting event together.

There are not enough words to adequately convey how much better our marriage has become, since we now have time to just be a couple again. This is not all to say that we do not still have nights were our babe doesn’t want to sleep or nights where he is fussy and we have to spend a little more time putting him to bed, yet it has all been worth it. There are still nights when we have to go to him and rub his back or even pick him up to soothe him back to sleep. Those nights have become fewer and farther in between and in a way I am sure one day we will miss his snuggling into us and falling back to sleep, but for now we are ever so grateful that we took the steps to allow our marriage to become important again.

I would 10/10 recommend sleep training to any new parent, but I would also say to wait until you are ready and do what feels right to you. We could not get on board with letting him cry it out when he was so young, so we slowly worked our way into becoming comfortable with him fussing a little bit every now and again. We found our new normal and created our routine, that does not mean it will work for everyone, just that it has opened up a world of date nights and rekindling conversations with my husband…something that two months into having our baby here I needed more than ever.

Days With Mama / February 18, 2020

Stay at Home Mamas Need Appreciation

Five months. A little over five months I have been a stay at home mama. I spend my days working to keep the house clean, and taking care of my little baby.

Why do I feel under appreciated?

I know I am working so hard all day long and never napping, resting or taking time for myself. I know that beyond a shadow of a doubt I am doing everything I can to both keep the house running smoothly and raise my child to the best of my ability.

Sometimes though, I wish I felt appreciated.

Being married to someone who works all day to earn a living so I can stay at home and raise my child is such a difficult experience.
I went to college to earn a degree, worked to make a salary I was proud of and handed that all over when I had my child. For the first time I’ve started to feel inferior.

I couldn’t tell you if it’s because I feel like everything I do is expected since I just “stay at home” all day. Maybe it’s because I budget for hours to save, pay off debt and buy necessities for as little money as possible-knowing full well I didn’t earn any of it. Maybe it’s because I feel guilty spending money I myself didn’t earn.

I don’t for a second regret staying home with baby, I just wish there was a handbook for the emotional rollercoaster that staying home has taken me for a ride on! I knew it would not be easy, leaving a job I loved and was really good at, I just thought with time everything would feel like it was a new “normal”.

There will never be a moment I will regret seeing my baby roll over for the first time, giving him his first solids, hearing his sweet laughter. However, I think if those who come in contact with a stay at home mama remember the things below-you might just make someone’s day by appreciating the small things they do to keep everything running smoothly at home.

Here are the top ten reasons why Stay at Home Mamas need to be appreciated:

We stay awake at night, checking on the baby, going over finances, making plans, paying bills and overthinking every decision of the day.
We listen to other people’s work problems and stories, wishing we had more adult conversation in the day.
We wash, fold and put away more laundry than one could ever imagine would get dirty in a day.
Meal prepping, planning and execution takes a lot of effort to accomplish while baby is present or even napping.
We give baby variety of options in the day for play; tummy time, jumper, bouncy seat, our laps, the floor-all in an attempt to ensure they have diverse choices and surroundings to give them the best possible daily experience.
We take baby EVERYWHERE. Up the stairs, down the stairs, to the kitchen, to the laundry room.
There is a constant dialogue between us and baby. We are always talking and explaining our world, what they see, what toy they have, what the weather is, where we are going. We want to give them such a rich vocabulary.
We are tired. Our body housed a little one for 9+ months, (sometimes more, sometimes less) even if she is an adoptive mama, she carried around the weight of bringing a little one home, we sleep less than we knew was possible, we are constantly rushing to get this or that done as quickly as possible before baby wakes up.
We lose a giant chunk of independence once our baby comes. We are now 2 instead of 1, everything we do takes an extra step or extra bath or buckle, or car seat.
We give so much love all day, we need a little recognition to fill us back up.

Days With Mama / February 17, 2020

Making Homemade Baby Food; When Everyone Has an Opinion

As a mom I’m sure you’ve been listening to people’s opinions of you and your parenting now for awhile. One of the the BIGGEST things I have heard is about feeding my child.

I’ve gotten comments from the get go, and let me tell you people judging my ability to feed my little one, or to know when he is hungry has been a challenge.

I’ve been trying to ignore all the comments, yet sometimes it has become too much! I just want to shout it out that, I know when my baby needs to eat, and also he will let me know!

Since my little one has grown so fast he has hit all milestones a little earlier than some other babies his age, and he got to start solids a little while ago.

He loves solids. He loves eating and the idea that he is sitting in his high chair, it’s like being a proud little baby. Of course he can’t tell me that, but hey-we all imagine what they might be thinking when they get that huge gummy grin on their faces, right?

I decided after spending $1.00 per jar and even more on some others that I would make my own baby food. My first choice was peas. I would come to regret that! I bought frozen peas and after properly thawing them and putting them in blender I realized no amount of blending would make them smooth enough for me to feel comfortable feeding them to my brand new eater just yet.

Then I decided to try carrots. That was a breeze! Using my Instant Pot I was able to steam the carrots and purée them in the blender in a short chunk of time.

The carrots were a breeze to make, easy to freeze and super simple to heat up and get ready for baby quickly.

Next, I’ll be trying sweet potatoes and squash and who knows how that will go! I love taking a chance on something new and just going for it.

Bringing the story full circle, some people still comment that I’m breastfeeding AND giving solids. The judging and comments never stop, but as a mama you need to know that there is support for you! Find those people who you can ask anything to, those who wait to give you input until you ask.

I might not be a baby food expert yet, but I’m doing everything I can to make this venture into Mamahood fun, exciting and worth it!

Days With Mama / February 11, 2020

Nap When the Baby Does!

I don’t know about anyone else but in the past year I cannot count the number of people who have told me to nap when the baby does. Even before I gave birth, everyone I met told me to nap as much as I could before the baby came.
I’ve never been a nap taker, as a child I would skip naps because I was definitely sure I would miss out on some amazing part of life while I was sleeping. That mindset has transformed into habit, and I can count on one hand the number of naps I took before the baby came.
Now, my baby is just over 5 months and I still never nap. There is some drive in me to get as much accomplished as I can while he sleeps. It might be rushing to throw laundry in the washer, to fold the next load or quietly stacking dishes in cupboards so that doesn’t wake him up. I am constantly trying to make myself feel better about not going back to work and prove that I am still doing SOMETHING of value.
Yet, every time the thought crosses my mind that I need to prove I’m doing something all day, it makes me incredibly frustrated.
I always said I was going back to work after baby. There was no doubt in my mind, until I started thinking of daycares, my long commute, missing his milestones. Those are the reasons I chose this. I CHOSE to raise my child. To wake up every morning to look into that smiling face, to change diaper after diaper, to snuggle him close and work in his development. I don’t need to prove anything.
I may never get my naps, but what I get is worth that. I get to see my child change rapidly before my eyes. I’m finally experiencing that “amazing” thing I thought I’d miss out on by napping. I’m experiencing life with my baby.
None of this means I don’t wish sometimes I could sleep for hours on end and relax, doesn’t everyone? It just means I’m grateful for his naps to give me a recharge and the ability to get things done around the house.